Thursday, June 25, 2009

Not That High


She is still fighting the nauseous, giddy feeling followed by a couple of strong drinks on the rocks. Yeah, she got drunk and it was the elite Johnnie Walker's Black Label worth some 5000 in the Indian currency.

Technically, this was her second attempt and having learnt from her first, that nothing could possibly give a thick skinned brat like her a high, she resort to get drunk a little over the edge this time in order to experiment with the alternative states of her consciousness. It was around six in the evening and she was over the internet and what followed after was something she was not too aware of but she does realise that she had been a major pain in the ass for many people.

The first time she had this acid like shit gulped down her throat, it was at her friend's place. Her friend was struck with the idea of getting high and there was absolutely nothing she could do to change her mind. What the other female did was amusing. She got a huge pile of clothes hiding within which a huge box containing a sealed "scotch whiskey". The idea was to take in some of it and then reviving back the original mark by mixing in some water, then replacing it inside her mom's closet. Hurriedly they opened the seal only to realise that they could fill in some water but they definitely couldn't get the seal fixed. Conveniently they filled in their glasses and laughed at the thought that it'll all be blamed on the servants, if discovered. After a shot followed by the random curses and cribbing over the disappointing taste, they resort to fill it in with water. But soon enough, they realised that there's a cork like valve which doesn't allow water to seep in through it. Now all they were left to do was to get it replaced completely, and how? Well, they could have just thrown it off had they been ignorant of it's damned price but then our very own Bejin Hakumei volunteered to take it back to her place and hide it in her room. Nobody at her place gave a shit so it was okay.

Anyway, so now was their turn to take in the full glass and relax in the room and utter shit and yet stay sane enough to face their parents. In fact, what's amusing is the fact that they never thought it'd get to them. They didn't make any arrangements. So, that was that. And yeah, all this while, they were in the bathroom attached to her friend's room in the first floor. Very safe a place indeed.

So then, Miss Hakumei wanted to get over with it first so she just took in the shit, the little bit that she could without barfing the rest on the floor. She then told her friend to have her share while she would stay in the room in order to shoo off any alien entering it. Bejin watched some T.V., felt her stomach boil, ate some pop-corn, felt it getting to her, watched some more T.V., felt herself getting tipsy, ate some more pop-corn then holding herself straight, she walked into the bathroom to see what the girl was upto and holy shit, she was holding onto the wash-tub uttering random gibberish. Now was Bejin's turn to get shit scared. Now, the intricate details of Bejin's attempts to get her friend to sleep will be skipped but yeah, it was tough for even for the mighty Miss Hakumei.

After getting her to somehow sleep, Bejin packed the bottle and everything, ran down the staircase, told her friend's granny that her granddaughter went off to sleep after a rough day's hard work. Bejin then just rushed back home. Maybe she was scared of getting caught or maybe because she could be accused of stealing an expensive intoxicating drink from her friend's place or maybe it was because her mom was calling her up every two minutes ordering her to come back home cause good girls don't stay out too late (it was 8:30 in the night), or maybe it was because she had her internet connection fixed after so long. Whatever it was, Bejin Hakumei was surely not her cool and calm self. So anyway, she rushed back home, hid in the stuff and thought of how the day went by. Now the crucial thing is, the first half of the day has still not been dealt with, which too was coincidently enthrilling. Anyway, Bejin lay on her bed thinking of how her dull and uneventful life had this rather interesting episode in it and then she pondered over the idea of how her friend got high and she was still sane enough. She was glad about the fact that none of them got caught and it was all thanks to her capacity for if she too had been high then the both of them would have been in deep shit but in the end she was just too upset over the idea that she didn't get to see herself getting high.

. . .

Now, last night's story starts from two days back when Bejin was ridiculed for being a failure, loser etcetera. She was emo, not because of the lame comment but because she too had immense faith in her rather low potential. Her long suppressed and ignored grief was very much felt. She was gloomy over the thought of not making it anywhere decent. She was terror stricken at the idea of going through the shit all over again. She was plain anxious. It was then that she resort to drink and get high on that one bottle kept inside her closet. After her parents left for a little outing of theirs, she immediately took out the bottle and took in a glass full, then another and then yet another! She still felt nothing change in her and she packed the whole thing back again cribbing for not being good at academics, for being a miserable failure, for sucking at art (her only hope) and most of all, for not getting high. Slowly it got to her, oh yes, it so did! And after that... she doesn't remember much of anything, except a friend calling her up to console her, another friend calling her up telling her to have lemon and tea and the ultimate, falling off from her chair, hitting hard on the edge of her bed and getting herself cut in the leg. Best, this time too, she didn't get caught. Man, she's too smooth a rustic!

On being interrogated, all she says is "What an experience!"

The Story So Far

Bejin's impatient blog followers: What good is a dead blog?

Bejin Hakumei: *smirks* Well, you see, I don't have write anything and you don't have to read anything!

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Grey Crayons




She picked up her grey crayons after ages and created an image of the man who stole her heart for an eternity... her Kira, everyone's Light.

The Third Person

It always amused me to see people use the words 'he' and 'she' to refer to themselves. It's hard to talk about yourself as if it's not you at all. Well, many a cool people do it so why not me? And because I am particularly fascinated by this random art, I hereby vow to refer myself in the third person from now on.



So, is this cool enough to make some news in the blog world?!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Band Thing

Having been introduced to the world of 'rock music' and the culture of the 'band following' by my elder brother, did do me a lot good. I still remember the night when he as hell sung the glorious tales of the 'weird' people.
It brought a new air of self confidence in me. I knew when some damned retards could make tons of dough by composing music out of their own miseries, I, being relatively better in most aspects could do much. Sad scene, life didn't turn out that way but nevertheless, the list continues to flourish!

Here's a list of my favourite bands:

> Pink Floyd (My Eternal Numero Uno)
> The Doors
> Nirvana
> Alice in Chains
> Pearl Jam
> Led Zeppelin
> Rage Against The Machine
> Tori Amos
> Simon and Garfunkel
> The Allman Brothers Band
> Lynyrd Skynyrd
> Porcupine Tree
> Frank Zappa
> Bob Dylan
> Neil Young
> Jimi Hendrix
> Eric Clapton
> Indus Creed
> Indian Ocean
> Red Hot Chilli Peppers
> Shakti
> Alms For Shanti
> The Eagles
> Guns N' Roses
> Audioslave
> Death Cab For Cutie
> The Cranberries


PS: The above mentioned list is subject to random convenient amendments.

Sayonara, Zetsubou Me!




I was worried for long.
Why?
Well because I normally keep getting these suicidal mood swings which make me plan out schemes in order to carry out the related tasks, but all this while, a month or two to be precise, I was thoroughly contented. No motives, no evil, nothing gloomy, nothing bad as such and certainly nothing good.

Ah, normal bliss was what it was. And that's the very reason why I was so anxious.

I knew I had to take the blow someday. Each casually-normal-good-day brought me closer to my ultimate nightmare.
Yeah, academics it is, yet again.

In a matter of days my results will be out and I, with passive reluctance wait for the ultimate shit. I, sure as hell, can't escape this one!

.
.
.
.
.

Reader: So? What's the point!?

Bejin Hakumei: Umm... zetsuboushita?

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Ah..



This, resulted in yet another shame. Not the vile little urge to boast of my intelligence that had made me break the ice here and start talking, but a desire to "throw myself on others' necks." This desire to throw myself on people's necks so that they recognise me as good and start embracing me or something like that (swinishness, in short), I consider the most loathsome of all my shames, and I had suspected it in myself for a very long time- namely, ever since the corner I had kept myself in for so many years, though I don't regret it. I knew that I had to be gloomier among people. What comforted me, after each such disgrace, was simply that the "idea" was with me all the same, in secret as always, and that I hadn't betrayed it to them. With a sinking feeling, I sometimes imagined that once I had spoken my idea to someone, I would suddenly have nothing left, so that I'd become like everybody else, and might even abandon the idea; and so I preserved and cherished it and trembled at the thought of babbling. And then here, almost with the first encounter, I had been unable to hold out, I hadn't betrayed anything, of course, but I have babbled inadmissibly; the result was disgrace. A nasty recollection! No, it's impossible for me to live with people; I think so even now; I say it for forty years to come. My idea is- my corner!



I am a corner- I live in a corner.

I am but an
adolescent.