It So Happened..

They entered my room and tried to get me out of my bed in the hopes of seeing a whacked out me. I lay lazily still, looked at them with weary eyes, yawned some then went back to reading a particular piece of literary shit I had in hand that time. For some reason, they seemed irritated, as if they didn't know me at all. Maybe the irritation was the result of them knowing me so very well. I don't know.
My ignoring them led them to getting scattered in different parts of my room. While Freddy was looking for a good read, Hally checked out her new outfit, which she bought on her way back home, yesterday. It's amusing to see how excited she was about a stupid dress.
.
.
.
Okay, damn! No matter how indifferent and cool I try to act, that black dress sure as hell caught my eye. Anyway, moving on, 'Man' (as we call him, contrary to his physique), sat next to me and asked me to get up and get ready for the "ride of my life". I showed no interest whatsoever, which kinda made him, umm.. anxious? Maybe. As it is I am bad with my expression skills. Not that it bothers me, or just maybe.. it does.
So then anyway, Hally shot up suddenly and said: "How about we plan a meeting with Fyodor and make these two talk it out!? That will set her spirits just as we want!"

For some reason, it didn't bother me at all but I think Freddy passed a subtle glare at Hally cause she suddenly cooled down just as she shot up. Man on the other hand was thinking. About what.. I am clueless. I think it was those burgers we had just before Fyodor and I had that huge argument but then again, maybe not.

It's been three weeks since I last spoke to Fyodor, I wonder what he must be doing. I know! It must be his little turtle he must be playing with. Oh I am so sure! With Fyodor, things are constant. He's too typical to be mistaken. 'Predictable' would be the word, I guess... (!?)

And haha, while I gave stuff a thought, I guess it was Freddy who was smirking and Man who suddenly exclaimed "Get up woman! You're not even reading that damned shit." It was then that I think I smiled after quite a while. Not that I am some emo sucker but because I am too lazy to smile back. No, honestly! Hally was kinda relieved seeing me smile. Okay, who am I trying to fool this once, it's just her dress she's in love with currently.

So then anyway, the guys moved out of my room and Hally stayed back. Freddy's got some neat choice when it comes to books, contrary to his dressing sensibilities. He picked up Love in the Time of Cholera, which is kinda new, cause Freddy is hardly the sentimental types. He's more into umm.. let's say Hitler and the Nazis.
So whatever, I kinda got dressed up for a bit. Now, don't get ideas, it was just a black Nirvana T-shirt with my normal blue jeans. But I was kinda conscious cause Hally wore this umm.. sexy (!?) halter neck blouse with a cute little blue skirt. Well, so we all went out of my place, got into a cab and went to this new bar which went by the flashy name of The Zeitgiests, and for wannabe intellectual suckers like us, it was the place to get as hell drunk or.. maybe not!
Freddy kinda seemed a little more serious than the usual, because he ordered coke with chicken strips instead of beer with chicken legs. I wonder what's wrong with these guys.. except that Man is still the dumb old him and Hally.. well, the same old fancy dress woman and hence, basically it was only Freddy who was so very... umm, no, a little weird that day. Except that I get what's bothering him and I don't like what it is but who'd tell him about it all.. not me, for sure.

That day went by casually. We were sipping our cokes, fighting over the last piece of the chicken strip and well, talking... about random dreams, some new alternative rock band which Man hated, chicken strips, beer and life in general. It was then that Freddy suddenly spoke of Fyodor, and it was just then that I realised, that it didn't bother me. At all. I suddenly got trapped in this void of introspection and realised that nothing and none meant anything to me as such. It was all so trivial.. Hally, Freddy, Man, Fyodor, my parents, my neighbour, his cat and her blue bell. All of it, all of them.. I wonder what caused me to make up for such a brilliant stone.

So while I thought of the various possibilities of why I turned into a stoic, I felt a hand touch my right shoulder. It was Man. I think he wanted to console me or something. Suddenly, Freddy stepped forward and just hugged me. It was weird to be honest. He has never been that way. Never! I just patted his back. That's my way to tell people off, but Freddy.. he just hugged me, even tighter and even so I didn't feel "warm" as they describe it in shoujo manga.

I said: Freddy, it's alright.
He said: No, it's not.
I said: Okay.. but what exactly are we talking about!?
He said: About you and... Fyodor and..
I said: Fyodor? And...!?
He said: Me.
I said: What about you?

He then pushed me back and I think his eyes were moist or just maybe... it was the disco lights.

He said: You don't have to act in front of us.

Hally and Man just looked as him in great amusement. If I weren't this lazy, I would've laughed back then.

I said: Dude, got fever or something!?
He said: Let's just drop this, okay?
I said: Cool.
He said: FINE!

And just like that he was gone. Just like Fyodor.
Man went after him while Hally stood next to me.

I said: What was that again!?
Hally said: I.. have no clue.
I said: It's cool.

While we spoke of having no clue and being scandalised by Freddy's new avtaar, Man came in panting and said "I'll drop you at Hally's place tonight. Okay by you?" and I said "cool".

That night, while Hally showed me more of her dresses and nail paints and jewelery, I noticed, that no matter how indifferent I am towards my friends, they are the ones I most think about. In moments of introspection, they are my experimental guineas.
I suddenly felt the urge to call both the eff dudes and make up with them but not knowing how to go about it made me all weary and I ended up just sleeping, like any other day. I think, it's my cave to hide in, my way to give in, my way to resent, repent and give way...


..Or, maybe not!


PS: My longest post so far.
PPS: Say "ooh shaa!" XD

The Art Blog

Is up here.

Why so serious?

I seriously need to take some serious actions against my not-so-seriously-serious self.

Seriously, I have come to realise that I can't be seriously serious about even the most serious of issues. Seriousness, could be often related to being seriously focused and/or being seriously ambitious. Seriously, I don't have a fucking clue as to what I am typing but I am shit serious this time. I mean seriously, this is so not the kind of seriousness I wish to seriously see in myself.
I wish I could be serious enough. 'Seriously serious' is what I want to get about art, academics and other serious stuff but man, I can seriously not get serious by the end of the so fucking serious day or rather a damned serious year.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, get me to become seriously serious person soon enough or else I will seriously have to take some serious measures against my so-not-serious self. Help me, Mother, help me get serious, seriously!


*signs*
-Serious enough,
Bejin Serious Hakumei.

Realisations, Resolutions and Resurrection

Reading her last post made her realise the ever so subconsciously known fact that she sucked at writing in the third person and after a rather long and never ending break from the virtual world of the Wired, Bejin Hakumei is now back and she has vowed upon a certain loser's name (not yet known) to never bore her dimwitted blog friends, wannabe blog followers and the general junta with her retarded writing.


And now that she is so over the "third person" disease, she's also willing to make the resurrection of her ever so dead ambitions known to public. Alas, ambition would be too strong a word for a character so astonishingly weak as her, when it comes to resolutions, but it ought to be done.


Bejin looks forward to the day when she will get some serious art done. She is determined to make some hundred doodles everyday starting this July 20th. She has also from a certain Junkie, been inspired to do a little sculpting. She will also start her own art blog wherein she will upload her artworks, designs and other related stuff. She also plans to later make art on demand (i.e., when she has enough knowledge about the human anatomy, animation on paper, sketching, painting etc.)
She also plans to read all of what her brother left at home (part of them are done with already) and watch good cinema. Moreover, she shall watch anime like she never did and hell, she also plans on reading most of the manga up there on OneManga.

She plans to also...

Bejin Hakumei: Just don't keep farting all you like.

. . .

Not That High

She is still fighting the nauseous, giddy feeling followed by a couple of strong drinks on the rocks. Yeah, she got drunk and it was the elite Johnnie Walker's Black Label worth some 5000 in the Indian currency.

Technically, this was her second attempt and having learnt from her first, that nothing could possibly give a thick skinned brat like her a high, she resort to get drunk a little over the edge this time in order to experiment with the alternative states of her consciousness. It was around six in the evening and she was over the internet and what followed after was something she was not too aware of but she does realise that she had been a major pain in the ass for many people.

The first time she had this acid like shit gulped down her throat, it was at her friend's place. Her friend was struck with the idea of getting high and there was absolutely nothing she could do to change her mind. What the other female did was amusing. She got a huge pile of clothes hiding within which a huge box containing a sealed "scotch whiskey". The idea was to take in some of it and then reviving back the original mark by mixing in some water, then replacing it inside her mom's closet. Hurriedly they opened the seal only to realise that they could fill in some water but they definitely couldn't get the seal fixed. Conveniently they filled in their glasses and laughed at the thought that it'll all be blamed on the servants, if discovered. After a shot followed by the random curses and cribbing over the disappointing taste, they resort to fill it in with water. But soon enough, they realised that there's a cork like valve which doesn't allow water to seep in through it. Now all they were left to do was to get it replaced completely, and how? Well, they could have just thrown it off had they been ignorant of it's damned price but then our very own Bejin Hakumei volunteered to take it back to her place and hide it in her room. Nobody at her place gave a shit so it was okay.

Anyway, so now was their turn to take in the full glass and relax in the room and utter shit and yet stay sane enough to face their parents. In fact, what's amusing is the fact that they never thought it'd get to them. They didn't make any arrangements. So, that was that. And yeah, all this while, they were in the bathroom attached to her friend's room in the first floor. Very safe a place indeed.

So then, Miss Hakumei wanted to get over with it first so she just took in the shit, the little bit that she could without barfing the rest on the floor. She then told her friend to have her share while she would stay in the room in order to shoo off any alien entering it. Bejin watched some T.V., felt her stomach boil, ate some pop-corn, felt it getting to her, watched some more T.V., felt herself getting tipsy, ate some more pop-corn then holding herself straight, she walked into the bathroom to see what the girl was upto and holy shit, she was holding onto the wash-tub uttering random gibberish. Now was Bejin's turn to get shit scared. Now, the intricate details of Bejin's attempts to get her friend to sleep will be skipped but yeah, it was tough for even for the mighty Miss Hakumei.

After getting her to somehow sleep, Bejin packed the bottle and everything, ran down the staircase, told her friend's granny that her granddaughter went off to sleep after a rough day's hard work. Bejin then just rushed back home. Maybe she was scared of getting caught or maybe because she could be accused of stealing an expensive intoxicating drink from her friend's place or maybe it was because her mom was calling her up every two minutes ordering her to come back home cause good girls don't stay out too late (it was 8:30 in the night), or maybe it was because she had her internet connection fixed after so long. Whatever it was, Bejin Hakumei was surely not her cool and calm self. So anyway, she rushed back home, hid in the stuff and thought of how the day went by. Now the crucial thing is, the first half of the day has still not been dealt with, which too was coincidently enthrilling. Anyway, Bejin lay on her bed thinking of how her dull and uneventful life had this rather interesting episode in it and then she pondered over the idea of how her friend got high and she was still sane enough. She was glad about the fact that none of them got caught and it was all thanks to her capacity for if she too had been high then the both of them would have been in deep shit but in the end she was just too upset over the idea that she didn't get to see herself getting high.

. . .

Now, last night's story starts from two days back when Bejin was ridiculed for being a failure, loser etcetera. She was emo, not because of the lame comment but because she too had immense faith in her rather low potential. Her long suppressed and ignored grief was very much felt. She was gloomy over the thought of not making it anywhere decent. She was terror stricken at the idea of going through the shit all over again. She was plain anxious. It was then that she resort to drink and get high on that one bottle kept inside her closet. After her parents left for a little outing of theirs, she immediately took out the bottle and took in a glass full, then another and then yet another! She still felt nothing change in her and she packed the whole thing back again cribbing for not being good at academics, for being a miserable failure, for sucking at art (her only hope) and most of all, for not getting high. Slowly it got to her, oh yes, it so did! And after that... she doesn't remember much of anything, except a friend calling her up to console her, another friend calling her up telling her to have lemon and tea and the ultimate, falling off from her chair, hitting hard on the edge of her bed and getting herself cut in the leg. Best, this time too, she didn't get caught. Man, she's too smooth a rustic!

On being interrogated, all she says is "What an experience!"

The Story So Far

Bejin's impatient blog followers: What good is a dead blog?

Bejin Hakumei: *smirks* Well, you see, I don't have write anything and you don't have to read anything!

The Grey Crayons

She picked up her grey crayons after ages and created an image of the man who stole her heart for an eternity... her Kira, everyone's Light.