Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Catch Of My Eye

Caution: The following piece of writing is a story about love and could perhaps be interpreted as girlie.

I admit. I was once in love with a guy.
He was the kinds who'd interpret this world as a dark and rotten place to live in. He despised the system but never really bothered to make a difference. He lacked passion. And though he could smell through people's motives, he was a confused bastard who couldn't really differentiate the good from the evil. Fucker, was a failure at academics but somehow always managed to pass English.

Haha, there was this one time when got expelled from his school. Not that he resented it one bit. In fact, he wanted seclusion and got it too! Somehow he didn't wish to go home like most of us would. And it's just my guess but I think he was just running away.. trying to ignore the dead ends he would have to face some day.

And damn what a brat he was.. stubborn and annoying! Retard, left school because he had a fight with his roommate and desperately wanted a break. Man, he had one helluva adventurous time cause the same night he visited a prostitute! But the loser said he wanted to talk to her instead of having sex. I mean what a kid! The bitch asked him for more money and when he refused, he ended up being bashed up thoroughly by her pimp instead!
Poor kid tried to act all brave and matured but I think he was afraid of growing up. I presume he disliked change. And even though he was naive at times I know he was a matured and sensible guy who could reason out well.
Such stark and ironic contrasts to him only added to his subtle charm. What I mean is, I kinda found him cute.

I don't know, man but I guess I was just helplessly falling in for him or something. His brand of honesty is kinda rare these days, ya know. Like for example, he wasn't particularly a caring person but he sure did like his little sister who I think was his only comfort in some regards. And hell, it makes me want to laugh out loud to think the brat thought of his English teacher and confidant as a pervert making sexual advances on him! On second thoughts.. who knows.. I mean the world is kinda unpredictable after all.
*rolls her eyes*
*let's out an inaudible sigh and continues*
This lonely and cynical guy seemed tired from day to day living, and from what I remember of him, I think he thought of himself, or let's say he knew himself to be a loser. I don't remember him admitting it though.
Silly kid, imagined himself as the protector of kids playing in the rye fields.

He is my male equivalent. Holden Caulfied, the catcher in the rye was the catch of my eye.

And even today, reading the shit I wrote, would probably make him go all, "phoney attention seeking bitch" but I don't give a fuck for all I know is that I would just stare at his back as he would walk away after saying those cruel words, trying hard to catch the fleeting glimpse of that image so that it resides in my heart forever.

I was merely lying when I said I was in love.
*mumbles inaudibly*
I guess, I still am.

: The above mentioned crap is written just to shut up some people [especially, Devika Misra] who think I have lost touch.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The L Factor and the Story of Being Officially Elled..!

We all hail the greatness of the F word but very few know the effness of the L word..!

It was only yesterday afternoon when I was thinking of how versatile the letter 'L' is. I mean 'L' stands for both
Lawliet and Light. 'L' also stands for "lame", "lust", "lounge" and ultimately 'L' also stands for a term often associated with me.. that is, loser. Only little did I know that the same night I was going to be "officially" elled..!

Yup, most of you already know it and those of you who don't .. well, I haven't been selected for NID.
So, the news is out and from now I am not going to crib on being called a loser. Instead, I am going to bow down Japanese style and humbly accept the tag.

It all happened yesterday night somewhere around 10:00 p.m. I was happily chatting with my long lost buddy, Devika Misra when I suddenly got a call from a coaching friend telling me the NID results were out. Panicky and hyper, I joined my hands and prayed to the Lord to grant me this sole wish [for the first time in the past 6 years] Next you see me sitting with my dad, stuck on the computer screen, typing the site name and finally my roll number only to find out this:


Category: GEN
Sorry! You have not qualified for the 2nd Phase of NID Admissions for GDPD 2009-10.

Man, it was written in the most apologetic tone of all that made me wryly mock at myself for being such a mighty loser!
My father who was at that time sitting next to me, moved away without saying anything a normal comforting parent would (I am kinda glad he didn't). And voila, next you see me calling, IMing, scrapping and texting the 'concerned lot' telling them about my result.
Writing all of it here in my blog and making a public issue out of something I would have rather shared secretly with a friend makes me a drama queen but it's better than staying up all night and staring at the fan run steadily in the room's ceiling.

I always knew I had it in me.. I mean the L Factor but the fact got confirmed in a rather harsh way. Anyway, I would like to admit that the past two years have been amazingly extreme and being the cynical brat that I am, I pretty much enjoyed most of it; including yesterday's long and quiet night. And even though it was such a drag I bet it's one of those nights which I shall forever remember!
Ah, feels good to be elled yet again

*laughs like a maniac*

*shoots herself*


Monday, March 23, 2009

Perfect Blue

Perfect Blue is one of the most well received anime movies of all times. Having been appreciated world wide it is a must watch for all anime fans and cinema goers.
It's a film by the famous Japanese director of anime films, Satoshi Kon and is a psychological thriller based on the life of an aspiring pop singer Mima Kirigoe.

The movie opens in a rather strange way with otakus gathered to see Mima's last performance as a pop-idol. On one hand where some fans hope for a bright future for Mima who is going to establish herself as an actress, some are rather disappointed in her especially a stalker who goes by the name Me-Mania.
The story unfolds in a predictable way from thereon where Mima experiences extreme pressure, both physical and mental. In order to establish herself as a competent actress Mima has to undergo many a situation which are mentally bothersome. For example, a rape sequence shot by Mima in the drama series called Double Bind [which in turn is also a mental state in which an individual (or group) receives two or more conflicting messages, with one message negating the other]
Mima's dedicated and skillful acting leads her to secure a larger part in the drama series. Meanwhile, Mima finds an online website called "Mima's Room" full of entries discussing her day. Mima who initially likes it as humble attempt by a fan is later taken aback to see how her life is discussed in such great detail. She discusses this with her manager cum friend, Rumi who assures her that it'd mean her no harm and that it's plausibly a prank.

In the later parts of the movie Mima is shown to have a trouble life born out of the rape sequence she shot in Double Bind to such an extent that she is unable to distinguish reality from fantasy. The story takes a new turn when all the people behind her pitiable mental state are gruesomely murdered one after the other. Mima begins to realise it's her doing cause there is ample amount of evidence against her and yet she is not sure cause she is no longer able to distinguish reality from fantasy.

Having been in a struggle to find out what's real and what's not Mima encounters Me-Mania who attempts to rape her. Mima is convinced it's he whose the diarist of the online website "Mima's Room" . She hits Me-Mania and runs off to Rumi, her sole comfort only to find her as the person behind the online website. Rumi is disillusioned and believes Mima, the pop-idol is the real Mima.
In the end it is shown that Mima goes to pay Rumi a visit in a mental hospital. On one hand where Rumi remains disillusioned, Mima gets out of the intense folie a deux situation and moves on with her now successful life.

The movie has a surreal plot often reminding one about David Lynch's works. It's a critically well received movie and one has to appreciate Kon's work of manipulation of psychological elements to achieve a level of intensity that many likened to the films of Alfred Hitchcock. Darren Aronofsky allegedly paid for the remake rights to Perfect Blue, so he could use one of the scenes for Requiem For A Dream.

Ultimately, WHAT A MOVIE..! is all I am left to say.
I rate it a fine 7/10 [I know my opinion hardly matters but still..]

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Dead End


I am finally done getting laid by the effing boards and currently I am too jobless. Now you would think that I was busy slogging hard for my boards but this where you are mistaken!
I was busy trying to keep myself busy by acting all busy.
Got it!?
Well, not your mistake if you didn't. To be precise, I was fooling around all this while and I am feeling like a piece of shit right now given to the fact that I screwed up all my papers so badly!
What a pity!

Anyway, in the coming few days some of my rather pissed off blogger friends [read Devika, Sanjukta, Nishant] might see some good amount of posts coming in here.


And even though I say you'll will see some work I am afraid I am going to be a disappointment yet again given to the fact that it's been only two days since I got over with my boards [unofficially] and I have already slept for 43 hours.

*smirks maliciously at her own self*


If sex gives as much pleasure as scratching an itching butt then man, I so totally wanna lose my virginity!