Bejin's Top Five (Part 1)

Encounters with the opposite pole:

5. When the guy is very normal:

He: Hey!
Me: Yo!
He: Heard Metallica's new album?
Me: Nope.
He: You should kill yourself.
Me: Really? I heard they sucked.
He: Well, even then! It's a cult, you tiny little bitch!
Me: Cool. Pass on the album to me tomorrow.
He: I have it in my computer. Downloaded it from the torrents.
Me: Make me a DVD.
He: Huh?
Me: By tomorrow.
He: We've got Maths home-work due tomorrow.
Me: I'll do that. You get me the disk.
He: Okay!

*a wicked smirk spreads across Bejin's stoic face*

Next Day:

Me: My disk?
He: Here.
Me: Thanks. Sayonara!
He: HEY WAIT! I need to copy the Maths home-work.
Me: Like you'd do it.
He: Yeah, I will..
Me: *nervous smile* Hehe, I thought you wouldn't, so..
He: WHAT!

*Bejin escapes slyly while the guy curses his foolishness*


4. When the guy is a total gentleman:

He: Senorita, your eyes are like the shimmering waters in the night sky.
Me: Huh?
He: Your eyes.. they are like the shimmering waters in the night sky.
Me: *irritated* *looks away* So, what else?
He: Your hair are like an artist's canvas with a brilliant black background.
Me: With a twisted and abstract face in the middle?
He: HaHa. My beautiful, you're funny.
Me: Really!? *happy*
He: Your lips are like...
Me: Oh shut up you fag! Tell me the crucial. You think I am funny?
He: Well, yeah.. I guess.
Me: Hah! I knew Maria was just jealous of my humor and sensibilities. Thanks sucker!

*Bejin leaves*


3. When the guy is a nerd:

Me: Give me your home-work register.
He: No.
Me: Dude, we have to submit it after the lunch break.
He: What would I get in return?
Me: Umm, I'll let you live for today..
He: *delighted* Okay!


2. When the guy is in love:

He: I.. I.. I had to uh...
Me: I got it. Say no further.
He: Really.
Me: Yeah.

*runs off at a speed of 299,792,458 m/sec*


1. When the guy is an otaku:

Me: Man, Samurai Champloo is just kick-ass!
He: Oh screw that, Afro Samurai is better!
Me: Wanna bet?
He: Oh sure!

*both take out their cardboard katana and start jumping around here and there creating weird sounds *
*suddenly it's all silent, everyone looks as to what the fuck is going around*
*they stand at a distance from each other and stare straight into the eye of the other*

Me: HaHa, I know you're fast but take the last few breaths while I smoke off this weed.
He: Thanks for the wonderful proposal but I might as well kill you while you're at that thing.

Both: HAAYII-YAAH!

*they rush towards each other with their cardboard katana*
*everyone stares in complete silence*
*brief pause*

Me: Dude! You have to fall down. I just killed you.
He: WTF! You're the one whose dead.
Me: Na-uh!
He: Oh yes.
Me: No!
He: YES!

*Bejin stamps on his foot and runs off*

Me: Yay! I win, loser.
He: Curse you little, witch!