The Story So Far

Bejin's impatient blog followers: What good is a dead blog?

Bejin Hakumei: *smirks* Well, you see, I don't have write anything and you don't have to read anything!

The Grey Crayons

She picked up her grey crayons after ages and created an image of the man who stole her heart for an eternity... her Kira, everyone's Light.

The Third Person

It always amused me to see people use the words 'he' and 'she' to refer to themselves. It's hard to talk about yourself as if it's not you at all. Well, many a cool people do it so why not me? And because I am particularly fascinated by this random art, I hereby vow to refer myself in the third person from now on.



So, is this cool enough to make some news in the blog world?!

The Band Thing

Having been introduced to the world of 'rock music' and the culture of the 'band following' by my elder brother, did do me a lot good. I still remember the night when he as hell sung the glorious tales of the 'weird' people.
It brought a new air of self confidence in me. I knew when some damned retards could make tons of dough by composing music out of their own miseries, I, being relatively better in most aspects could do much. Sad scene, life didn't turn out that way but nevertheless, the list continues to flourish!

Here's a list of my favourite bands:

> Pink Floyd (My Eternal Numero Uno)
> The Doors
> Nirvana
> Alice in Chains
> Pearl Jam
> Led Zeppelin
> Rage Against The Machine
> Tori Amos
> Simon and Garfunkel
> The Allman Brothers Band
> Lynyrd Skynyrd
> Porcupine Tree
> Frank Zappa
> Bob Dylan
> Neil Young
> Jimi Hendrix
> Eric Clapton
> Indus Creed
> Indian Ocean
> Red Hot Chilli Peppers
> Shakti
> Alms For Shanti
> The Eagles
> Guns N' Roses
> Audioslave
> Death Cab For Cutie
> The Cranberries


PS: The above mentioned list is subject to random convenient amendments.

Sayonara, Zetsubou Me!

I was worried for long.
Why?
Well because I normally keep getting these suicidal mood swings which make me plan out schemes in order to carry out the related tasks, but all this while, a month or two to be precise, I was thoroughly contented. No motives, no evil, nothing gloomy, nothing bad as such and certainly nothing good.

Ah, normal bliss was what it was. And that's the very reason why I was so anxious.
I knew I had to take the blow someday. Each casually-normal-good-day brought me closer to my ultimate nightmare.
Yeah, academics it is, yet again.

In a matter of days my results will be out and I, with passive reluctance wait for the ultimate shit. I, sure as hell, can't escape this one!

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Reader: So? What's the point!?

Bejin Hakumei: Umm... zetsuboushita?

Ah..

This, resulted in yet another shame. Not the vile little urge to boast of my intelligence that had made me break the ice here and start talking, but a desire to "throw myself on others' necks." This desire to throw myself on people's necks so that they recognise me as good and start embracing me or something like that (swinishness, in short), I consider the most loathsome of all my shames, and I had suspected it in myself for a very long time- namely, ever since the corner I had kept myself in for so many years, though I don't regret it. I knew that I had to be gloomier among people. What comforted me, after each such disgrace, was simply that the "idea" was with me all the same, in secret as always, and that I hadn't betrayed it to them. With a sinking feeling, I sometimes imagined that once I had spoken my idea to someone, I would suddenly have nothing left, so that I'd become like everybody else, and might even abandon the idea; and so I preserved and cherished it and trembled at the thought of babbling. And then here, almost with the first encounter, I had been unable to hold out, I hadn't betrayed anything, of course, but I have babbled inadmissibly; the result was disgrace. A nasty recollection! No, it's impossible for me to live with people; I think so even now; I say it for forty years to come. My idea is- my corner!



I am a corner- I live in a corner.
I am but an adolescent.

With Ribbons Undone

I had always been this lazy kid who would prefer sleeping her ass off for most part of the active hours. In the evening I'd stay back home sleeping or watching Dexter's Laboratory. Often I'd be dragged out of my bed by hyper active girls who had no interest what so ever in the great Dexter. I'd curse them in my head for ruining my program for the evening. Being a skinny little fuck that I still am I was better than the other fatsos in all the games. However I was amongst the kiddos who'd want to play tough. Yup! I liked being a hero [!?], I'd run around like a cheetah, act like a mediator in random cat fights, get myself skinned and what not. Yeah, a total wannabe was all I was, yet happy.
It sometimes amuses me to see how happy I have been all my life. Maybe, that's because I never cared enough to pay heed to the bad stuff that came my way.
I was never a careful person as a girl. Dressing up well, talking like girlie girls, being cute was something too far fetched for me, for the people I have been with all my life is my brother and his friends.
It pains me to see how I have changed relatively. I now live a rather clean life, get myself waxed in time, get myself a haircut done every 3-4 months. I apply kaajal and tie my hair neatly.

Argh, I disappoint myself to the core!
Whatever happened to the good old days when I'd skip my bath to lazily lie around watching Cartoon Network? The days when I'd run around the house like a maniac to get in the way of my brother and his love, Mathematics. The days when I'd never apply a moisturiser on my fugly face. The days when I never cared for what I was or what I appeared to others.

*sigh*

.. I don't want to grow up Mom, at least not tonight.